Writing a eulogy is one of the most meaningful tributes you can offer someone who has passed away.
At Slater Funeral Services, we know it is difficult to put your feelings into words when you are grieving, and this guide will help you write a eulogy that truly celebrates the person in a genuine and heartfelt manner.
What Is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech delivered at a funeral or memorial service that honors the deceased through memories, highlights of character, and influences on life. Unlike an obituary, which is a standard document that describes someone’s life, a eulogy is personal and emotional; it’s meant to paint a picture of who this person actually was.
The word “eulogy” derives from a Greek word that means “praise,” but it doesn’t have to be perfect or even particularly formal. It just needs to be honest and from the heart.
Getting Started: Gathering Your Thoughts
Before you begin writing, take time to reflect on your relationship with this person.
Jot down the memories that come to your mind. Think about the moments that made you laugh, the times they gave support, or experiences showing their character. Think about what each of them loved, valued, and what set them apart. What would they want people to remember? What kind of stories would make their loved ones smile?
If you’re struggling, reach out to family members and friends. Ask them to share their favorite memories or stories.
Structuring Your Eulogy
A well-organized eulogy is easier to write. Although there is no one ‘right’ structure, most good eulogies will include these components:
Opening
Start with a brief introduction of yourself and your relationship to the person who passed. This helps the audience understand your perspective. You might also include a meaningful quote, a line of poetry, or a simple statement that relates to who they were.
Body
The bulk of your eulogy should include stories, memories, and reflections that describe the person’s character. You might organize this section chronologically, by themes (such as family, career, hobbies), or by the values they embodied. Choose 2-3 main points or stories to focus on rather than trying to cover everything.
Closing
End with a final reflection, words of thanks, or a statement about their legacy. Some people choose to close with a favorite saying of the deceased, a prayer, or words of comfort for those gathered.
Writing Tips for a Meaningful Eulogy
Be authentic. The best eulogies are genuine.
Use specific details. Instead of saying “she was kind,” share a story that shows her kindness. Specific anecdotes create pictures and help others connect with your words.
Strike a balance in tone. While funerals are somber occasions, it’s okay to include moments of lightness. Appropriate humor or joyful memories can bring comfort and remind everyone of the fullness of the person’s life.
Keep it concise. Aim for a eulogy that takes 5-7 minutes to deliver, typically about 500-1,000 words. This length allows you to say something meaningful without overwhelming listeners during an already emotional time.
Write as you speak. Your eulogy should sound natural when read aloud. Use conversational language and short sentences. Read your draft out loud to catch awkward phrasing.
What to Include in a Euology (and What to Avoid)
Do include:
- Personal stories that show character
- The deceased’s accomplishments and passions
- Their impact on family, friends, and community
- Acknowledgment of how they’ll be missed
- Words of comfort for those grieving
Avoid:
- Inside jokes that most people won’t understand
- Controversial topics or family conflicts
- Excessive focus on the manner of death
- Speaking for too long
- Overly formal or stiff language that doesn’t sound like you
Practicing and Delivering Your Eulogy
Once you’ve written your eulogy, practice reading it aloud multiple times. This helps you become comfortable with the words.
It’s completely normal to become emotional while reading a eulogy. Have a printed copy with you, and don’t hesitate to pause if you need a moment. The audience understands.
Consider asking someone to serve as a backup reader in case you become too overwhelmed to continue. There’s no shame in needing support during such a difficult moment.
Final Thoughts
Writing a eulogy is an act of love. It is vulnerable and reflective, especially during one of life’s most challenging moments. Remember that there’s no perfect eulogy. What matters most is that your words come from the heart and honor the person you’ve lost.
